Here you go! Bought me! Finally! Otherwise you are sticking out on this damn "bird market", like some kind of hamster. What the hell are cats in the bird market, and not on a cat? I have a head and noise from this scream, like a ram. And I don’t like the ram, because I’m even a young cat at all – a thick tummy. Just to say, they could be excommunicated from my mother, and on you! Sell me to the market! Like some kind of thing. Torgashi damned! Kototorgovites!
The main thing is not to wait for the cat to go through infancy, and then expose it as some kind of thing! At this age I need peace, affection, walks and proper nutrition. Instead, sticking in the aquarium in front of all sorts of crooks. And everyone strives to raise behind the scruff (he would have been raised so!) and ask the merchant about me all sorts of intimate questions. I don’t give a damn about my feelings!
Well, nothing! I was not offended either. One villain dared, as he said, to check my floor. Climbed, infection, watch all my young places. So I quickly poured him on his shirt. He did not even have time to meow.
And I am simply outraged by all sorts of remarks that they released about my appearance. By the way, my appearance is gorgeous! Black wool, white socks and white breasts. And one aunt said that, they say, I have a face – as if I were running and crashed into the wall from all the dope. Here is a villain! I would look at my face! The face herself is as if she had come under a haymaking as a child. And I – noble blood. Persian, by the way. Not a couple to her, a scoundrel of incomprehensible origin!
But everything bad in life, even a bird market, one way or another comes an end. On the second day, some cheerful girl came running, saw me, immediately blurred, they say, that’s what a charming cat! Clear stump – charming. What is there to think? Urgently need to buy! Where else can you get such a handsome man? I seemed to have heard the girl, so she didn’t pull me for a long time, lay out a completely crazy amount (I even caught fire a little by what kind of noble person they appreciated) and took her home, saying that I would be a great gift for her husband’s birthday.
Here! Husband! And I hoped that the cheerful girl acquired me for myself. That they will cherish me, cherish, stroke the belly, drink milk and other rubbish. And here – on you! Husband! And if he gets drunk and gets on me by chance? But there was nothing to do. There is some kind of prospect. Do not run away from her on street bread. I’m still thoroughbred.
They drove home. I was immediately launched in some stupid box from under the boots. Couldn’t they come up with something more poisonous? I really can’t get out of there. Still small, so the paws break off. About an hour later this husband came. Well, for sure, the brewing guy turned out to be. His name is Andrei. The girl (she, as it turned out, was called Sveta), met her husband with joyful cries and bugs that she bought a cat for her birthday.
The husband, through a few liters of beer, tried to rejoice, went to the box, breathed on me so that I myself was getting drunk for two hours, said: “Good pussy”, and tried to scratch my tummy. Here is a ram, he would have scratched me with a boot! He almost does not hold on his feet, and there – thoroughbred tummy kittens to scratch. No, I, in principle, love this business, but not when the garlic begins to fall asleep and rests with my whole palm on my stomach so as not to fall. Of course, I described myself. And whoever describes in my place?
This fool immediately howled, which, they say, he was slipped by a poor -quality cat, who could not even go to the toilet. And Sveta is also good. No, in order to explain to her brewing husband – how to handle cats, took it, and I packed me with my nose in my own art. What is this, people, it turns out, but? This is called "education"? In short, I was offended with terrible force, but no one paid attention to it. It’s only good that they put another box with the sides of the lower, through which I could get out.
After some time, Sveta and Andrei went to celebrate his birthday, saying that I behave well. The main thing is that they told me that I would behave well! They would have followed better. At first I slept in the box for several hours, then I woke up and saw that there was a pitch darkness around. These villains did not guess at least one light bulb. But I am small. I’m scared. Directed with an hour in his box, and then he could not stand it, went to the door and began to sing combat songs there, so that he was at least a little fear.
Finally, this couple showed back. Both are cheerful, cheerful. Clear stump, they feasted there, and I drove one in an apartment, surrounded by pitch darkness. Sveta, as I saw me, was so at once vulgar:
– Oh, my little cat, you will squeak so plaintively. Frightened? Missed without daddy with mom?
Yeah. I have food. How. This https://spin-casino.uk/mobile-app/ is a cat’s fighting song! Only the voice is not very obvious yet. But my mommy with daddy I don’t really miss. Daddy now, I suppose, is hooligan on the roof (so that the seller does not speak there, but on my father’s line I am from relatively simple), and the mommy is dried up in front of the TV on the knees of her mistress-a crazy old woman. Mommy, by the way, was also a virgin all her life. Until daddy, to her through the window, did not fit and embarrassed the peace of a white Persian cat. Then the old woman was then surprised when the mommy became pregnant in some way. She still believes that his mother visited the Holy Spirit. I didn’t even want to sell my sister until she promised a new TV.
Damn, but Sveta will not calm down in any way. Presses me to my chest and kisses me. Clear stump, to kiss Andryusha now is the same as licking a beer barrel. And my head is already spinning from her perfume.
Finally, they laid me back in the box and began to hold advice – what to call me. Sveta more and more standard names offered: Shurik, Barsik, Murzik and Timoshka. Andrei looked at me for a long time with a sleepy gaze, and then said:
– Let’s call him Abram Ivanovich Shshlyk.
– This is why it is so difficult? – Already stunned by the light.
– Abram Ivanovich is ridiculous, – Andrey said importantly. – And a barbecue … – then he was silent for a moment, and then said with deep tenderness, – I wanted to name the cat for a long time.
I looked anxiously in the world, hoping that she was fundamentally stopping this disgrace, but this fool only looked at her husband with adoration and said:
– As you say, beloved.
So I became Abram Ivanovich Shishlyk. Cool? You can be stunned. However, from these fools I did not expect anything else. Let the barbecue. If only they were fed.
ABOUT! This drunken face again climbed to me. Says: “Abrasha! Abrasha! Kys-Kys!"And again climbs puziko scratch. No, honestly, I am scratching his whole nose now!
In general, I will not lie, everything is more or less established. The guys, although there are little stupid, but give way to training. At first, the difficulties were with feeding. I don’t understand just what – they don’t watch the TV at all? They don’t listen to advertising? It was clearly said: food from your table is not suitable for cats. Okay, when the light invents something there. Rice with a cutlet I can survive. But when Andryusha pours beer into a bowl, and throws salty crackers into the bowl, accompanying it all with the words: “Use, Abrasha, my kindness”, I am again ready to peak all his face. The benefactor was looking for.
They are indivisible, horror. How can it be? On the first day in the evening I needed to solve some natural problems. I leave the kitchen, look – the door to the toilet is ajar. And next to the toilet, a photographic cuvette is installed. Clear business, for me. Not for Andrei. I was pushed there, I do my deeds leisurely, when suddenly the light looks in the half -open door and begins to yell at the whole house:
– Andryusha! Andryushenka! Go here soon! Look how smart the barbecue! He climbed into the cuvette!
Well, you saw? Delicacy – just at zero. And if I find Andrei on the toilet and start yelling at the whole house:
– Sveta! Sveta! Look how smart Andryusha is! Poop on the toilet, instead of a piano!
Interesting, he will like it? So they themselves are to blame. I’m now in the toilet – not a foot. I choose secluded corners and do everything there so that they do not interfere. And then they are indignant, screaming, trying to catch me, so that, as they say, "poke my nose in my art". Completely crazy. They would be so clung.
There is still trouble that the guys cannot understand one simple thing: cats are not dogs. Why do you think cats with dogs have always been at enmity? And because cats consider dogs to be idiots, subsequent and hypocrites, and dogs envy cat independence.
Have you ever seen how some poodles meet the owner at the door? You can’t look at the same without nausea. Height jumps, yells, squeals! Ay, just what joy happened! The owner came! Finally! Now there will be someone to kick him in the stomach. They are hypocrites. Ugh, I don’t even want to say.
What other animal can fall so low to carry the owner of a slippers or bring a newspaper? Only dogs allow such a humiliation of bestial dignity. You someday have seen the cats to bring slippers? Or crocodiles? Or canaries, fish, ostriches, opossoma, beavers? That’s it. All these animals have self -esteem. Especially among cats. But dogs have no feeling. Traitors. The stews are ready to walk in the hind legs for a bowl.
Yes! I am also striving to run to the kitchen when I hear a cry: “Sushlyk-shashlyk-shchelyksha-shlyksha-shlyksha”, which I usually call me for a meal. Because I want to eat. But I do not respond to any other calls. I’m above this. True Andryusha once tried to inflate me and began to yell from the living room with a concerned cry, although there was no other food there. As a result, then for three days I could not rattle with his torn hands on a computer. But I remembered for a long time. I say, they give in to training, although with difficulty.
I will not lie, some representatives of the glorious family of cats also behave hypocritically, allowing them to rub their backs on the legs of the hosts, persuading them to put it in this way. But with this, exceptions only confirm the rule. Moreover, even in this case, cats retain their individuality and independence. Because they don’t care about who to rub. Any person in the kitchen is suitable for this purpose and it doesn’t matter whether he is the owner or not. This is just such a process of obtaining food. But after an affectionate cat ate, try to caress him … I vouch that you will immediately get a paw on the cheek so that they do not interfere with the digestive process. And try to stroke the just poodle. This Ostolop will only sink you and lick you. Because an idiot, hypocrite and lift.
There were still big problems with their creeps, as they say, to "play" with me. Imagine. Sleeps a small cat on a pillow. Wandering with terrible force. And he dreams of mom, dad, bird market and other abomination. And then Andryusha suddenly approaches me, breathes on me with beer so that then I have to drink half a liter of milk in order to sober up, puts a bow on a rope directly in the nose and says: “Well, Abrash, we will play?"
He wanted to play. In the bow. I hate this beer face. Of course, I will not lie, I like to play a bow. Just out of sporting interest. But I like to do this when a sports hour comes, and not when some Andryusha wanted it. I had to carefully train them for two weeks, but now the situation looks as follows: a rope with a bow was hung on the handle of the oven; когда мне приходит охота поиграться, я ложусь спиной в свою корзиночку и два раза мявчу; After that, Andrei or Sveta move my basket to the stove, and I, lying on my back, play excellently with a bow as much as I like. And these fools are happy. They show all guests my exercises, hinting that this is the result of their training. Their training. Here is a naive! I haven’t seen such a long time.
It’s also very unpleasant for me to laugh their manner for any reason. Yesterday, for example, I am sitting on a closet, when I suddenly see – in a bucket of water a hefty fish swims. I, like a real predator, planned it immediately from the cabinet and let’s drown! Unfortunately, it turned out to be an ordinary sexual rag, and I myself almost drown. so what? It is common for everyone to make mistakes. Why was it like to laugh so, pulling me out of a bucket? And also say that in wet form I look like a rat. This Andrei would look at himself who he looks like in a drunken form. Spilled mufton on the plain after falling from the top of the mountain.
And this endless struggle for the chair … in the end, I should have my own chair in the house! There are how many furniture they have: chairs, two sofas, stools in the kitchen. I don’t demand much. Only one chair where no one except me should sit down. I have been accustoming them for a month, but the results are still weak. Andrei claims that this, you see, his chair, and Sveta from there drives me under the pretext that I, they say, leave shreds of wool there. So my dear, the cat must be combed! It is written in any book. And she only can shuffle her liquid spaces. Soon it will become completely bald. But I won’t become bald. And do not hope.
Then, what kind of expression "shreds of wool leaves"? I would look – that she scatters all over the furniture! Jars, bottles, combs, bottles, powders, hairpins and pins. I’m sitting just like a mined field. Then I pick out a pin from the side for half a day, then I will get into the powder and then sneeze all day, then in general these … like them … I sit down on a head brush with cat’s virtues with all over the vanish. It hurts, by the way. I can get off her – lazy.
